People are always coming up to me and asking, “Chuck, why are Baby Boomers so wonderful?”

How rare it is to have an infinite number of correct answers to a single question! One of my standard replies: It has to do with our alimentary intake during adolescence.

Yes, the Staff of Life is perhaps key to our well-being, but I’d like to concentrate on the real nutritional performers.

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Of course, we didn’t feed ourselves. Concerned parents were often guided by the wisdom of Madison Avenue. To help out, our heroes recurrently met with cereal executives to plan strategies with our welfare in mind. It certainly was comforting to know Superman ate the same stuff we did.

Along with sugar, other wondrous foodstuffs made up our diet.

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And to drink, perchance to belch! Water was never good enough for us. Now only good water is good enough for us.

The outcome of all this early nutrition? Our sex lives can be reduced to tiny chunks of sugary cardboard.

Instant oral gratification. It’s the secret to our socioeconomic success.

And I still want it.

©1998/2020 by Chuck Nyren

Further Study: 76 Million Sociopaths Outed

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